What I never thought I’d do:

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Sorry. I recognize most of these posts have been in list form.  Much easier for my mind to formulate at this point in my (still somewhat) sleep-deprived mind.  So here we are…what I never thought I’d do:

-Enter my child in one of those “cute kid” or “Gerber Baby” contests.  After all, I used to make a LOT of fun of moms who did this prior to having my own kid.  Really.

-Nap every morning during his morning nap.  After all, I am the “girl who doesn’t DO naps.”  uh-huh

-Not be cool with CIO (acronym for cry it out).  I thought before Zach was born. “ehhhh I’ll tooooootally let him cry it out!  I’ll Ferberize him!”  hahhaha. funny.

-Ha actually use all of those “dumb” acronyms like CIO, LO (little one), etc.

-Talk about shit this much.  No I mean like poop.  Color, quantity, quality, you name it.  OH and get so excited about said poop.

-Want to have another baby.  They are right: you completely forget how much you hated being pregnant and how awesome your delivery was

-Discuss nipples so frequently

-Have six machines capable of producing “white noise”

-Have a “preferred swaddle.”  Seriously?!  Like this is the Kate Spade of swaddles.  Argh.

-Plan my day around naps and (gasp) cancel plans in the midst of being a “nap nazi” yup. I’ve seriously done that.   Remember the whole “oh I’ll just strap my baby to me and go anywhere anytime” thing?! Ha.

-Push my annoying opinions on people – I seriously try not to but sometimes I hear this crap coming out of my (give-me-a-break-sleep-deprived) mouth and I’m like “who iiiiiiis this woman!”” Put a sock in it girl.  But seriously.  I mean five months of being a Mom DEFINITELY entitles me to an opinion.  Ha. not.

-Be late to EVERYthing. ‘Nuff said.

-Get my engagement ring back on after pregnancy. yay! It is back!

-Skip workouts in favor of rest.  Really, people, I was relentless but sometimes this mommy thing kicks my ass!

-Compare making Mom friends to dating. Yup.  totally did.

-Consider toilet time to equal alone time

-Wipe spit up on my sleeve/pants/sock/anywhere pretty much

-Memorize Zach’s favorite book to recite to him in my singsongy voice…and in the shower

-Get LIVID over “wasted” breast milk (“you threw away WHAAAAAT!??!”) Listen. That shit is gold.

-Eat this much chocolate.  It normally is not my thing.  File that under breast feeding.

-Consider leggings to be a fancy version of sweats. HA! Who am I kidding.  This is not new for me.

- “Keep driving” the car because “he is still sleeeeeping!!!” UgH I used to avoid extra driving at all costs

-Love my crock pot even more.  ESSENTIAL to a mom.

-Breast feed my baby while he is in the carrier and we are walking down the street.  True story.

-Get pissed at motorcycle riders- they are so noisy when he is napping in his stroller ! Oh, add trash trucks to this list for naps. GR.

-Spend more money on someone else’s clothing than mine (gasp!)

-Divulge this crap on the internet.  OH well.

3 thoughts on “What I never thought I’d do:

  1. If you ever need someone to talk nipples and poop, im your gal! I will let you know, toilet tons was once alone time, but once he starts waking that’s gone?

  2. Pingback: I thought I’d make baby food…and other myths. | Ups and Downes

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