Sorry. I recognize most of these posts have been in list form. Much easier for my mind to formulate at this point in my (still somewhat) sleep-deprived mind. So here we are…what I never thought I’d do:
-Enter my child in one of those “cute kid” or “Gerber Baby” contests. After all, I used to make a LOT of fun of moms who did this prior to having my own kid. Really.
-Nap every morning during his morning nap. After all, I am the “girl who doesn’t DO naps.” uh-huh
-Not be cool with CIO (acronym for cry it out). I thought before Zach was born. “ehhhh I’ll tooooootally let him cry it out! I’ll Ferberize him!” hahhaha. funny.
-Ha actually use all of those “dumb” acronyms like CIO, LO (little one), etc.
-Talk about shit this much. No I mean like poop. Color, quantity, quality, you name it. OH and get so excited about said poop.
-Want to have another baby. They are right: you completely forget how much you hated being pregnant and how awesome your delivery was
-Discuss nipples so frequently
-Have six machines capable of producing “white noise”
-Have a “preferred swaddle.” Seriously?! Like this is the Kate Spade of swaddles. Argh.
-Plan my day around naps and (gasp) cancel plans in the midst of being a “nap nazi” yup. I’ve seriously done that. Remember the whole “oh I’ll just strap my baby to me and go anywhere anytime” thing?! Ha.
-Push my annoying opinions on people – I seriously try not to but sometimes I hear this crap coming out of my (give-me-a-break-sleep-deprived) mouth and I’m like “who iiiiiiis this woman!”” Put a sock in it girl. But seriously. I mean five months of being a Mom DEFINITELY entitles me to an opinion. Ha. not.
-Be late to EVERYthing. ‘Nuff said.
-Get my engagement ring back on after pregnancy. yay! It is back!
-Skip workouts in favor of rest. Really, people, I was relentless but sometimes this mommy thing kicks my ass!
-Compare making Mom friends to dating. Yup. totally did.
-Consider toilet time to equal alone time
-Wipe spit up on my sleeve/pants/sock/anywhere pretty much
-Memorize Zach’s favorite book to recite to him in my singsongy voice…and in the shower
-Get LIVID over “wasted” breast milk (“you threw away WHAAAAAT!??!”) Listen. That shit is gold.
-Eat this much chocolate. It normally is not my thing. File that under breast feeding.
-Consider leggings to be a fancy version of sweats. HA! Who am I kidding. This is not new for me.
– “Keep driving” the car because “he is still sleeeeeping!!!” UgH I used to avoid extra driving at all costs
-Love my crock pot even more. ESSENTIAL to a mom.
-Breast feed my baby while he is in the carrier and we are walking down the street. True story.
-Get pissed at motorcycle riders- they are so noisy when he is napping in his stroller ! Oh, add trash trucks to this list for naps. GR.
-Spend more money on someone else’s clothing than mine (gasp!)
-Divulge this crap on the internet. OH well.
If you ever need someone to talk nipples and poop, im your gal! I will let you know, toilet tons was once alone time, but once he starts waking that’s gone?
Ha! Thanks Lauren! I’ll keep that in mind! Hope you are well!
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