Why Finding Mommy Friends is like Dating.


Why isn’t she calling me back?

Was Zachary crying too much?

Were my “fancy sweats” (leggings) not fancy enough?  Too fancy?

Did the lunch I served suck?  The quiche was bland, wasn’t’ it?

Is my house too small?

Too many toys?  Not enough?

Was I letting Zachary be too grabby?

Was my type-a schedule too much for her to handle?

Did I over-share?

Does she want to be my friend?

This, my friends, is indeed my inner-monologue regarding new mommy friends.  I have heard people draw a comparison between making Mommy friends and dating, and maybe have even read a blog post about this, but I wanted to share my own thoughts.  I agree. Making mommy friends is certainly like dating.  And sometimes it works out, but sometimes it doesn’t.  And who knows why; maybe the quiche WAS bland!  But nonetheless it can sting when a “mom-lationship” doesn’t work out.  When it does though, it can feel oh-so good to have someone to hang with while with your baby!  You want someone who “gets you,”  preferably someone close or who is willing to travel, someone who you can talk to, someone who shares some of your ideas around parenting style or is at least open minded, and mosty importantly, someone who you feel won’t judge you.  And the list goes on!  I have found that mommy-hood has made me very vulnerable.  In the very wise and beautiful words of Barack Obama, “someone once described the joy and anxiety of parenthood as the equivalent of having your heart outside of your body all the time, walking around.”  That someone, by the way, was Elizabeth Stone, who said specifically, “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”  Anyway, the point is that who ever you choose to be your Mommy-friends, you share this vulnerability with them, and I guess that is essentially why it is so similar to dating.


So tell me, what is important to, in making Mommy friends or friends in general?