I finally understand the concept of wanting to freeze time.
Last year at this time (I have been doing a lot of this type of thinking), I was two days post-due date and had a routine doctor’s appointment for a non-stress test and ultrasound to check my fluid levels. Your Daddy was able to come to the appointment with me as it was late in the afternoon; 4pm. I had spent the last week trudging up and down the Ben Franklin Bridge on foot, even breaking into a run at times, in a lame attempt to go into labor. The morning of this doctor’s appointment, two days post-date, I thought I was having the beginning of contractions (which were later confirmed to be, if anything, little blips; ha) and was filled with anticipation of your arrival. I never in a million years knew how much my life would change; for the better, for the best, for the ways I could not even know possible. The non-stress test went well; you were swimming around (obviously quite comfortable) and your heart rate was good. We then awaited the ultrasound with a nurse who quickly became tense. I said to your Daddy that something was wrong, and he brushed me off, as I am, by nature (and admittedly) a hypochondriac. She told us we were going to a better machine with a doctor who would be able to read the results better. In the end, I had run out of fluid and you were born via c-section less than two hours later.
You are, by far, the best thing that has ever happened to me. You have given me a sense of purpose and the feeling that I was put on this earth to be your Mama. I love watching you grow each day, but see the days fly by with regret for how fast they truly go. Each moment with you is amazing and you are a miracle that I am forever thankful for. Thank you for being you.
A video I made of your birth and first few weeks:
I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BEYOND.
NOTHING MEANT ANYTHING UNTIL YOU MADE IT MEAN EVERYTHING.
I LOVE YOU, BABY ZACHARY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
“Oh how the time flies now that you’re here with me. You’re here with me…
Oh how I waited for you, oh how I longed to meet you. Oh how I wondered who you’d be, now I see.
‘Cause you’re here with me. You’re here with me. Now that you’re here with me.”