Holiday Time With Blended Families: The Golden Rule

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Hello hello!  I hope everyone had as fantastic a holiday as we did!  As I sit here typing, the house is eerily silent with the man sleeping in a bit and all three boys off to see their other families for the holidays.  I wanted o write a post about how we worked with blending our families for the holidays, and I still intend to, but it is with the caveat that I unfortunately can’t spill all of the details surrounding our blending of families YET (still litigation, not on my side, going on) but I will share as much as I can!

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Guys, holiday times are filled with magic, love and happiness. But, if you are in a blended family situation rooted in contention, it can be really challenging.  Divorce can be tough.  Mixing families can be tough.  BUT, it is possible to be MINDFUL about your relationships and even MORE possible to make everyone HAPPY!  It just takes a bit of respect, a bit of love, and a LOT of the Golden Rule!  This year, being our first Christmas together as our blended family but also recognizing that it is the first Christmas for the kids being away from their other families, we went into this with a plan: follow the golden rule, treat others as you would like to be treated.

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And guess what? It worked (well, for those following said rule ;))!  We had a wonderful mix of blended family time and special time with just our crew.

We headed up to Williamstown, Mass with just our boys and us to visit Scott’s family right before Christmas. We stayed three nights and it was a TOTAL blast, like could NOT have been more fun and wonderful. While we were gone, I made sure to have the kids FaceTime with their other parental units and to include them in as much as possible. This is not simply giving the other parent access on the phone, but being sure to talk about the other parents in a positive and consistent manner so to foster those relationships.  This also means that if we are crafting or baking, I always give the children the option to gift something to their other parent.  That’s just the right thing to do. It felt right and…the golden rule.   In the end, while kids are lovely resilient creatures, they also know what’s up and DO/WILL know what’s up.

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Anyway, we got home, and then Friday my boys went to their dad’s for the night while scott, c and I Santa-Ed it up! It was nice to have some one-on-one time with him and I am sure the boys appreciated some QT with their Daddy!  Now, for Christmas Eve, it was an all-out party!  We made the decision that we REALLY wanted everyone who loves the boys to be there, so of course Ian was there and as always, we had a BLAST.  I feel super fortunate to have such an amazing relationship with my kids’ dad.  He is wonderful and Scott is wonderful for supporting our beyond-amicable relationship.  I am SO blessed.

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For Christmas morning, we did the first round of gifts with just the FOUR of us (Scott, Me, Chace and Zachary; G was still asleep and Mema hadn’t had her coffee yet lol).  It was nice to have a bit of time before everyone came back over!  The boys’ Dad came half hour into the opening and we then got G up (and Mema her coffee!!) and it was SOOOO great to be able to share in this together!  There was a LOT of love felt and I know the boys REALLY felt it and appreciated it.

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Now, Z and G are off with their Dad visiting their paternal grandparents and totally having a blast (YAY!!!!) and C is with his Mom for the week. I miss them SO much but it is nice to have some down time to relax and regroup with Scott and my boys are only a phone call away!  We try so hard to be respectful of each other’s feelings and I think that is truly our key to success: Gotta love the golden rule!

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